I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND (FAN FICTION) (CHAPTER 47)

CHAPTER 47

 

           

            Lena gazed at Jaejoong. It had been such a long time since she last stared at him. How she had missed looking at his handsome face . . . caressing the curve of his perfect nose and lips.

 

            Lena's whole body shivered after she started to remember all the nights that they shared. How she missed him emotionally and physically.

 

            "Jaejoong . . ." Lena uttered. She was surprised with the way her voice sounded.

 

            "What is it that you want? If you have something to say . . . just say it and get it over with . . . so I can leave already. I don't want to waste my precious time on useless things," Jaejoong irritatedly said while trying to avoid looking at Lena.

 

            Lena felt like her whole world had turned black. She had never expected Jaejoong to treat her so coldly.

 

            "I . . . I'm sorry," were the only words that she could utter.

 

            Jaejoong lightly laughed, while trying to control his emotions. "Sorry? Is that all you're going to say? Do you know that after you left . . . I had totally gone crazy . . . to the point that I even thought of committing suicide? Do you know how worried I was about you? Do you know how many nights I spent just wondering where you were and what you were doing? Tell me . . . during the passed two months . . . did you even think of me even for once . . .even for a second?"

 

            "Jaejoong . . . you were always in my heart and in my mind . . . even though I was far away from you. You were the only thing that kept me alone all this time," Lena said with tears running down her face.

 

            Jaejoong suddenly faced Lena, with hurt and anger in his eyes. "Really? I was in your heart and in your mind for the passed two months? You're making me laugh. If what you said is true then you would have at least tried to contact me . . . even once. So don't try to say such sweet things to me. I won't believe your lies anymore . . ."

 

            "Lies?"Lena uttered. She looked at Jaejoong. "I have never lied to you . . . you know that," she felt hurt that Jaejoong no longer believe her.

 

            "I'm with Keiko now. So no matter what you say or do, I will never return to you. I gave you my trust and my love . . . but you just threw it all away. So don't expect me to welcome you back with open arms. You're no longer a part of my life Lena. I'm sorry but I don't love you anymore," Jaejoong said harshly.

 

            Lena felt her whole body had suddenly turned cold. She bit her lower lip very hard to try to stopherself from crying out loud. She bit so hard that blood slowly oozed from the wound on her lip.

 

            Jaejoong's expression softened after he saw the blood oozing from Lena's lip. He then looked away in another direction. Somehow regretting what he have said. He knew he was too cruel with her. But she just couldn't stop himself from releasing all the pain and anger that had stayed locked up in his heart.

 

            "I'm sorry. I know you're angry with me, because I left you. But I . . . I only did it to save you. God knows . . . how much I love you. But during that time . . . it was the only way to save you and everyone you love. I'm sorry if I made you suffer . . . But please believe me . . .I also suffered as well," she tried to explain.

           

            Jaejoong shook his head, as if trying to make himself wake up from a dream.

 

            "Lena, it's too late . . .I'm sorry . . . But I've already learned to move on and . . . and I've already gotten very intimate with Keiko. I don't think I can ever leave her . . .I have to be responsible for her," Jaejoong uttered with a very heavy heart.

 

            Lena felt she was going to die right at that instant.

 

            "But you have to responsible for me too . . . me and our baby," the words kept on echoing in her mind. But she was already feeling very weak and hopeless to even try to voice out what was on her mind.

 

            Lena felt totally lost. She never expected to hear such words from Jaejoong. She felt like her whole world had stopped and was now slowly crashing down on her.

 

            She tried to control herself, but her tears just kept on flowing. She tried to stop herself from crying out loud. But she felt her heart was already too heavy. She needed to release the extreme emotion she was feeling or else she felt like she was going to collapse.

 

            She tried to control her sobbing at first. But after a few minutes, her  cry finally became uncontrolled. Her tears and her sobs were finally released.

 

            Jaejoong glanced at Lena. His heart was totally being torn into pieces as he continued to watch the first woman he had ever loved cry because of him. He then looked away and closed his eyes. He wanted to pretend that he wasn't seeing Lena. He wanted to make believe that he wasn't feeling anything.

 

            Lena looked at Jaejoong again. She felt like her heart was going to explode. He wasn't even looking at her. She slowly moved her wheelchair to where he was standing. She wanted to be close to him. She wanted to explain . . . . She wanted to make everything all right. She couldn't stand the pain anymore. She didn't want to lose him. She needed him to be beside her. She knew she couldn't live without him. If she needed to beg, she will do it . . . She was willing to do anything, just to have him back.

 

            "Jaejoong . . ." Lena uttered as soon as she was close to him. Then she touched his hand.

 

            But Jaejoong immediately brushed her hand away, and moved away from her. Then he looked at her with shock and disgust in his eyes.

 

            Lena stared at Jaejoong's eyes, then she looked at her hand that had touched his hand. Her hand was still reaching out to him. She suddenly pitied herself. She closed her eyes, as she slowly lowered her hand. And as her eyes were closed, tears ran down her face. How she wished she could die where she was right at that moment.

 

            As she slowly opened her eyes, more tears immediately rushed down her beautiful face.

 

            "I still love you Jaejoong," she weakly uttered. "Please forgive me! I am willing to do anything . . . just forgive me. I love you and I need you. Please come back to me. I don't think I can live without you. Please . . . please . . . love me again . . ." she begged.

 

            Jaejoong felt like he couldn't breathe. No matter how hard he tried to deny his true feelings . . . the truth was he still cared for Lena.

 

            As he stared at her in such a pitiful state, his own heart was bleeding out for her. How he wanted to hold her and comfort her. But he knew it wasn't possible anymore. He already had Keiko to think about.

 

            But his heart was more powerful than his mind. Somehow his heart was controlling his entire body. He approached Lena, and then he knelt down in front of her. He then carefully wiped away the tears on her face. He then lovingly caressed her face.

 

            Lena stared straight into Jaejoong's eyes. She then wrapped her arms around him. She wanted to feel him near her again. She wanted to feel his heart beat again.

 

            Jaejoong's entire body felt warm, and as Lena embraced him . . . memories started rushing into his mind. He then started to return Lena's embrace. He also wanted to feel the warmth of Lena's body next to his. How he had longed for the time that he would be able to have her in his arms again. And now that she was with him again. . . it was as if he didn't want to let go anymore.

 

            At that exact moment, Jaejoong's cold heart had already melted and the anger in his heart had disappeared as well. Everything was like a dream.

 

            As he continued to embrace her, he wasn't thinking anymore. He just allowed his heart to take over. His lips immediately searched for Lena's lips. And as soon as their lips met, all their longing for each other was released. All the hurt were easily replaced with passionate kisses.

 

            Jaejoong and Lena felt like their entire world had started spinning, as they continued to passionately kiss each other. Somehow they didn't want to stop. Jaejoong tightened his hold on Lena. He was so afraid that she was going to stop and let go of him. How he wanted their kiss to go on forever.

 

            "Jaejoong!" a voice suddenly called out.

 

            Surprised, Jaejoong and Lena both looked at where the voice came from. And as fast as they were able to forget, they immediately fell back into reality as soon as they saw Keiko standing in front of them with tears in her eyes.

 

            Bewildered and hurt, Keiko kept on looking back and forth between Jaejoong and Lena, as if asking what was going on.

 

            "Keiko . . ." Jaejoong uttered. He immediately let go of Lena.

 

            Keiko brushed her tears away, and hurriedly rushed out of the room.

 

            Jaejoong's heart was pounding very hard. He was so confused on what to do. He was about to stand up, but Lena immediately grabbed his hand. She then tightened her hold on him. She didn't want to let him go.

 

            "Please stay . . . I love you . . . I promise I'll make up for everything I've done. Please just stay with me. I need you . . ." Lena begged as she tried to hold on to him.

 

            Jaejoong slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry . . . But I've got to go," he uttered as he released himself from Lena's hold.

 

            Lena violently shook her head. "No! No! No! Please don't go. I love you Jaejoong . . . I need you . . . Please just let her go. I love you. . .  I can't live without you," Lena uttered as if she was going crazy.

 

            Jaejoong stared at Lena, then at the door. "I'm sorry, Lena. . . . but I love Keiko," he said as he hurriedly stood up and ran out of the room. He knew he needed to find Keiko. He needed to explain everything.

 

            "No . . . Jaejoong," Lena cried out as she tried to reach out for him. She was totally losing her sanity. She wanted to ran after him. She wanted to stop him.

 

            Lena tried to stand up. But her legs were still numb. She then started to hit her legs with her hands. She wanted to hurt herself. She wanted to make her legs feel again. She then tried to push herself up and out of the wheelchair. But her legs and her whole body immediately lost balance, and she instantly fell down on the floor.

 

            As soon as Lena hit the floor, she again cried uncontrollably. She didn't try to stand up anymore. She just continued to lay down motionless, and wishing that she would just die.

 

            "Lena . . ." Micky cried out after he saw her lying on the floor. "Lena, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" he worriedly asked as he gently carried her in his arms.

 

            Lena continued to cry. She then wrapped her arms around Micky. "Please . . . I don't want to stay here anymore. I don't think I can bear to see Jaejoong again. Please help me . . . I want to go," Lena begged.

 

            Micky's face was full of anger. "What did Jaejoong do to you? What did he say?"

 

            Lena shook her head. "Whatever he did and said isn't important anymore . . . Keiko already knows about me and Jaejoong. I'm afraid I've done something wrong again. It's obvious that Jaejoong truly cares for her. I saw the love and concern in his eyes before he left and ran after her. I don't want to destroy his relationship with Keiko. That's why I want to leave."

 

            Micky's facial expression hardened. "You're staying here and I'm taking care of you, that's final. I don't have the slightest concern whatever happens to Jaejoong and Keiko. The only person I am concerned about is you. So don't you even think of running away again just for Jaejoong's sake."

 

            "Micky . . ." Lena uttered.

 

            "Have you told him about your condition and about the baby?" Micky asked.

 

            "No . . . I don't think it was necessary. I wanted him to return to me because he still loved me . . . not because of pity . . . and especially not because of the baby," she answered.

 

            "Stupid Jaejoong . . . So he's left you . . . just to run after Keiko. Well that's it! I've already had enough. He's just made the biggest mistake of his life. From now on, I'm never going to allow you to go back to him ever again. Even if he died begging, I will never give you back to him," Micky said coldly.

 

            Xiah, Max and U-Know all sighed. This was what they were all afraid of. things were beginning to be more complicated. And everyone was obviously hurting. How they wished that all the problems would stop coming. They didn't want Jaejoong, Micky, Daichi, Keiko and Lena to get hurt anymore.

 

            Lena felt very weak. She rested her head on Micky's chest and just silently cried again.

 

            Micky just tightened his hold on Lena. He had decided that he wasn't going to let Jaejoong hurt her anymore. He was going to protect her in anyway that he can.