EMERHELIENA'S SITE IS BACK~: September 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

LOVE ME AGAIN (FAN FICTION) (CHAPTER 15)

CHAPTER 15

Only two days passed…

Both Samar and Krizzia were totally amazed with Ellie’s quick recovery. It was like she was instantly transformed into a different person.

“Are you sure about what you’re doing? You know, you should rest,” Samar said with concern. She then slowly zipped up Ellie’s dress.

Ellie faced her friend and smiled. “Thank you for caring so much about me. But I really need to continue with my work. I think I’ve already caused so much disturbance in the DBSK project. I really need to make up.”

“But are you absolutely sure that you’re all right? What about the thing that happened in the alley? Doesn’t that bother you at all? I mean you haven’t said a word about it. I’m quite concerned that you’re starting to hide your true feelings again,” Samar said with a low voice. She didn’t want to voice out all the things that were running in her mind at that exact moment.
Ellie looked at her friend carefully, then sighed heavily. She sat on her bed and started to talk. “I’m sorry for making you and Krizzia worried. But I think I am really, really all right now. Well… not perfectly fine, but just enough to start things over again. About the incident that happened in the alley, would you believe me if I said that I wasn’t that affected at all. During that exact moment… while those men were touching me… yes, I was scared. And I really thought that I was going to lose my mind again. Good thing that I didn’t. And because of that incident I suddenly realized something…”
“What?” Samar asked curiously.

“I realized that no matter how hard I try to lock myself up and separate myself from other people, destiny will always find a way to make me experience all the things that I am most afraid of. So after giving it some serious thinking, I have finally decided to give life another try. This time I will try to be stronger. Instead of running away every time a problem appears, I will now try to face all my fears. I will try to face them bravely and I won’t hide anymore. I don’t want to be scared for the rest of my life. I want to be normal again. I want to learn how to move on… how to forget and how to forgive,” Ellie said with determination in her voice.

Samar didn’t know what to say. She felt like she wanted to scream and dance because of the happiness she was feeling. Ellie had finally decided to face everything … on her own. She quickly went to Ellie’s side and tightly embraced her.

“You don’t know how happy I am with your decision. Always remember Krizzia and I will always support you. We will always help you in whatever you want to do.”

Ellie felt so secure and loved in Samar’s embrace. She closed her eyes and let her whole body and mind feel at ease.

“Thank you, Samar. I promise from now on. I will try to be stronger,” she uttered.

***************************

All the DBSK boys together with the production staff were totally surprised with Ellie’s sudden appearance on the scheduled location.

Micky hurriedly approached Ellie. “What are you doing here? You should go home and rest,” he said with concern.

Ellie smiled. “I’m fine. I know I have already caused so much trouble for everyone here. Let me make up and continue with all my unfinished work I have here.”

Micky carefully stared at her. He could see that she was really serious and determined to do her work. Then he looked around at all the staff members that were already looking at them with curiosity written all over their faces.
He couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “Fine, just make sure you don’t over work yourself. I will be keeping a close watch on you okay?” he uttered sweetly.
Ellie nodded. “Thank you. You’re really sweet.”

****************************

Only a few meters away….

Jaejoong slowly turned away from the scene that was breaking his heart into a million pieces. He couldn’t bear to see the smile on Ellie’s face as she gazes at Micky’s face. Somehow he couldn’t help but think that her smile should belong to him and not to Micky.

He hurriedly walked away. His heart was already too heavy with regret and pity.

“Hyung, where are you going?” Max called out.

“I’m just going to take a short break. I suddenly have a headache,” Jaejoong lied.

U-Know and Xiah exchanged glances with each other and just shook their heads in pity.

**************************

The day passed by rather quickly. All the staff members were quite happy with the sudden appearance of Ellie on the set.

All the works and decisions that had been postponed and left undecided were finally finished.

Ellie worked continuously and tirelessly without any complaints. She knew she needed to work fast for everyone’s sake.

It was already midnight when the staff members finally told the DBSK boys and Ellie that they were free to leave.

Max yawned and stretched his arms. “I’m so tired. I can sleep for a whole week straight,” he uttered.

Xiah laughed. “You wouldn’t last half a day without putting any food into your mouth.”

“Hey, where’s Jae? He was here a few minutes ago,” U-Know asked curiously as he suddenly noticed that Jaejoong wasn’t around anymore.
Micky started to look around. “Strange. He suddenly disappeared,” he uttered.

*******************************

Jaejoong slowly walked to the spot where their van was parked. He wanted some time alone. It was like he couldn’t breathe whenever he was around Micky and Ellie. He knew he was being unfair. But he couldn’t teach his heart not to feel pain.

He then leaned on the door of their van. It was already cold but he didn’t care. The coldness he was feeling inside his heart was more unbearable.
A few hours ago, while he silently watched Micky lovingly take care of Ellie, his heart was bleeding to the point that it was driving him mad. He wanted to get angry but he just controlled himself. He knew he didn’t have any right to get angry in the first place. He was nothing compared to Micky.

He covered his face with his two hands. If only things weren’t so complicated, he would surely try to fight for her. He had waited so long for her to return to him. But he never expected that their paths would cross again in such a cruel and painful way.

“I don’t think I can take this anymore. I miss you Lena…. I miss you so much,” he uttered out in total frustration and pain. “Aaaaaahhhhhh!” he screamed to get the heavy feeling out of his chest. Slowly his knees gave way… he fell down on the ground and started to sob. He had been controlling his tears ever since Ellie appeared on the set. He didn’t want her to see him crying because of her. He wanted to pretend that he wasn’t affected by Micky and Ellie’s relationship.

He cried and sobbed just like a small child that had lost something very valuable to him.

Unknown to him… as he cried…. Someone was silently watching him inside one of the cars that were parked.

Ellie couldn’t understand why her heart was feeling very heavy while she watched Jaejoong weep uncontrollably. It was like a part of her wanted to run to him and comfort him.

She sighed. No matter how hard she tried she still couldn’t deny the fact that Jaejoong still meant something to her. He was still a part of her life. He was her best friend before and it was something she can never change.

Minutes passed, Ellie continued to watch while her heart was feeling pity for Jaejoong. Unexpectedly, a tear ran down her cheek. She immediately wiped it away. But after the first drop of tear, several tears quickly followed.

“I’m sorry if I’m making you so sad. And I’m more sorry for making you cry. Ever since we were small, I have never seen you cry before. This is the first time I’ve seen your tears. I’m sorry. Now I know I made your life miserable as well. Now… I know, you missed me too. Somehow it makes me happy. At least, now I know I meant something to you,” she uttered as her tears freely ran down her cheeks. “I guess it’s really time for me to forgive and forget. I forgive you now Jaejoong. It’s just so sad that we can never be the same way we were before. I’m already a broken soul with nothing to give. I don’t even have the confidence to stand beside you … even as a friend. Before I had the courage to be with you… but not anymore. I’m sorry I will never have the chance to live the life we always dreamed of… Please don’t cry, Jae…. From now on, I promise everything will be all right.”

BORROWED FROM GOD (FAN FICTION) (CHAPTER 17)

CHAPTER 17

“Hello, Micky,” the woman said again as she stood in front of him.

Muko just looked at Micky with curiosity in her eyes. Somehow she couldn’t understand the strange expression on his face. “Micky, are you all right?” she asked with concern. She then lightly touched his hand as if to draw his attention to her.

Micky immediately snapped out of his trance and stared at his wife. “I… I’m all right,” he treid to utter.

Muko looked at Micky for a few minutes, then her attention quickly focused on the girl standing in front of them.

“Hello. I am Mukades,” she greeted warmly with a bright smile.

The unknown girl smiled back at her. “Hi, I’m Nan Hee. I’m Micky’s…”
“She’s an old friend,” Micky quickly answered instead of the girl.

Muko gave her husband a confused look. She could easily see that he was feeling very nervous and uncomfortable. She wanted to ask again. But she just decided to stay quiet and act like she wasn’t noticing anything. She knew it wasn’t the right time to be inquisitive.

“Thank you for coming here Nan Hee. So how long have the two of you know each other?” Muko unexpectedly asked.

Nan Hee smiled as if with a hidden meaning. “How long? Oh quite long dear… longer than the time you have known him,” she answered.

Micky felt like he could easily melt on the very same spot that he was standing on. He could sense that Nan Hee had other plans aside from greeting him on his wedding day.

His mind was starting to think of a way to get Muko out of Nan Hee’s company. Then he suddenly thought of something.

“Muko, why don’t you go and greet the other guests. I’ll take care of Nan Hee,” he carefully said while controlling the quivering of his voice.             Muko knew there was something wrong. But she just nodded and faced Nan Hee with a smile.

“It’s nice meeting you, Nan Hee. I hope we can get the chance to talk to each other again later,” she said politely.

Nan Hee lightly laughed. “Oh, don’t worry. We will surely get the chance to talk to each other again. And do believe me when I say we will surely have lots of things … interesting things to talk about.”

Micky gave Nan Hee an angry look, but she just ignored him.

“I’ll go now. Bye,” Muko uttered to both Micky and Nan Hee as she slowly walked away.

As soon as Micky and Nan Hee were left alone… Micky quickly pulled the unexpected guest to a place where they could talk freely.

“What are you doing here?” he asked with a glitter of anger in his eyes.
Nan Hee smiled seductively. “I came here just for you. Aren’t you happy to see me?”

Micky gave Nan Hee a disgusted look. “No, I’m not. Are you sick or something? You just walked out on me two years ago without any valid reason. Now you suddenly appear and you expect me to welcome you with open arms. You’re crazy!” he said with anger.

Nan Hee was somehow taken by surprise by Micky’s reaction. She never expected that he would be so angry with her. And that he would treat her in such a cold way. Her reaction quickly changed. Her confidence was instantly replaced with doubt.

“Look … after I saw the news about your wedding, I immediately decided to come here. I… I wanted to clear out something before you finally decide to get married with that girl,” she tried to explain.

“Clear out something? What?” Micky asked with a bit of annoyance in his voice.

Nan Hee shook her head and smiled bitterly. “I think it doesn’t matter now. I’m already too late. I wish I could have gotten here sooner. I wish I could have gathered up all my courage to see you sooner… maybe then, you wouldn’t have gotten married with her…. but with me,” she said as sadness showed on her face.

Micky’s heart skipped a beat after seeing the pitiful look on Nan Hee’s face, and after hearing what she said.

“Why? Why did you come here?” he asked again. Somehow his heart was waiting for an answer that he had been waiting for so long.

Nan Hee looked straight into his eyes. How she missed looking into his eyes. There were nights that she would just wake up crying and calling out his name.

She still loved him. But there were things more important than love… Things she needed to take care of.

She quickly looked away. She couldn’t bear to see the sadness and longing in his eyes. She was already too late.

“I think I should be going. Congratulations, Micky. I hope you will be happy,” she uttered.

Micky felt pity for the woman standing before him. She had been a part of his life before and somehow she still had a part which he could never erase. Even though he was mad at her for leaving him, there was still a part of him that treasured the special memories that they shared.

“Wait…” he couldn’t help but utter.

Surprised, Nan Hee turned to face him. She immediately saw something familiar in his eyes. Hope quickly filled her heart.

She hurriedly took out a small piece of paper from her purse. “Here, take this. Please call me. I really want to talk to you in private. There are a lot of things I need to clear out between the two of us.”

Micky took the piece of paper and nodded. It was like he wasn’t himself. He didn’t approve of what he was doing, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Nan Hee smiled. “Goodbye for now, Micky. I know we will see each other again very soon.”

She then slowly turned and walked away. She couldn’t stop her heart from rejoicing. She saw love in his eyes. She knew he still loved her.

A smile appeared on her lips. She might be too late to stop the wedding, but it wasn’t too late to take Micky back.

A RACE TO MY HEART (FAN FICTION) (CHAPTER 27)

CHAPTER 27

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Michael asked with hesitation.

Fate sadly stared at him. Then she tried to smile and afterwards nodded. ”I just hope that you know what you are doing,” he uttered as he gently shook his head with disapproval.

“I don’t have any choice. I know I have to do this,” she replied with a low voice.

Michael took a deep breath. Somehow he could feel her pain. And how he wished that there was something he could do to take all the hurt away.

“But you heard what the doctor said… you’re not fit to travel yet. You’re supposed to be resting in a hospital. If I had know what you were planning, I wouldn’t have helped you in getting released from the hospital,” Michael said angrily.

“I’m sorry. But I just can’t stay there anymore. That place just keeps on reminding me of what happened. And it just keeps on reminding me of … of my baby,” she uttered as her voice quivered.

Michael looked at her worriedly. The doctor had already warned him about Fate’s delicate condition.

Even though Fate already seemed strong enough, her body was still very weak from the sudden miscarriage. Any kind of emotional or physical pressure might make her condition worse. And this was something he was most afraid of.

“You know you’re not allowed to cry anymore. We’re no longer in the hospital. So I wouldn’t know what to do if you suddenly faint again all because of your continuous crying,” Michael warned.

“Sorry. Don’t worry. I’m not going to cry, not anymore. That’s why I want to leave Japan already. I’m already tired of crying and I want to forget,” she replied.

“But. . . .” Michael wanted to say something but somehow he couldn’t make the words come out of his mouth. He was too afraid that he might actually hurt her with what he was going to say.

“I know what’s in your mind. Don’t worry…. I think I am already strong enough to totally leave him. I remember you already warned me before. But I was stubborn and determined when I got myself entangled in this fast-paced love affair. I … alone, made the decision to be with him. Now… I think it’s only fair that I alone make the decision to leave him,” she uttered.

“You’re just going to leave him without even saying goodbye? I thought you said you don’t blame him for what happened and that you’re not angry with him? So why are you doing this now? Don’t you think you’re being too cruel by just leaving him all of a sudden?” Michael asked with concern.

Even though he didn’t like the way Max had treated Fate. He was still trying to be fair on both sides. He knew how painful it was to be left by someone you love. And somehow he didn’t approve of the way Fate was handling her problem.

“I’m being cruel?” Fate asked with a surprised expression on her face. “I think I would be more cruel if I stayed… not only to him but to myself as well. Can’t you understand? If we stayed together, we will just keep on reminding each other of our baby.”

Michael shook his head. “Wherever you go, whatever you do, something or someone will always remind you of your baby. So I think it’s useless to run away. No matter where you hide, your baby will always appear in your mind.”

Fate tried to smile. “Yes, you have a point. But I still need to go. I want to forget and start a new life without him. I’ve already made up my mind. I hope you can support me with my decision.”

He stared at his friend and the only woman he had loved. He knew it was impossible to change her mind now. She was the kind of person that always stood by her decisions. Once she had already decided on something, she always makes sure that she sticks with it.

“Fine. If you really want to leave, then there’s nothing I can do about it. But just promise me one thing,” he uttered slowly in total defeat. “What?” she asked curiously.

“Promise me, once we’re out of Japan, you will follow everything I say and rest for a whole month before returning to racing,” he answered.

Fate smiled sweetly, then nodded her head in agreement. “Yes, sir. I will gladly follow sir,” she said as a joke.

Michael couldn’t help but laugh with Fate’s silly gesture. He then quickly took her into his arms and held her tightly. “I promise whatever happens I will always take care of you,” he softly uttered.

Fate just closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel secure in Michael’s arms. She couldn’t explain what she was feeling. It was like different emotions were all locked up inside her. But one specific emotion was trying to come out no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

Sadness was filling her entire soul. She loved Max but she knew she couldn’t stay anymore. She needed to learn how to forget and how to move on. Yes, it is painful now. But everything will eventually change once she was already far away. Both she and Max … as time passes by… will learn how to live without each other. Both of them will eventually find someone new and forget all the bad memories. She knew it was the best for both of them. The pain was just for a while and would soon disappear.

“Calling all passengers of Flight 17 bound for Frankfurt, Germany. Please proceed to departure gate 15B for boarding.”

Michael quickly released Fate, then he looked at her again. “That’s our flight. Are you ready?” Fate nodded and just quietly followed him. This was what she wanted. There was no turning back now…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As the plane flew higher and higher, Fate felt like her heart was getting heavier and heavier by the minute. Full of regret and anguish, she looked out of the airplane and just stared at the darkening sky.

Tears flowed from her eyes. She told herself that she would never cry again. But here she was drowning herself in sorrow and pain. She was finally leaving the only man who had taught her how to love and the only man who she will love for the rest of her life.

“I’m sorry I have to leave you, Max. Please take care of yourself… Always remember even though we will be apart, I will always keep a special place in my heart just for you… I love you… and goodbye.”