I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND (FAN FICTION) (CHAPTER 17)

CHAPTER 17

 

Jaejoong suddenly opened his eyes. It was as if he heard someone whisper his name. He slowly looked around. The other DBSk boys were still asleep. Then he noticed the small enevelope on the table near him.

 

            "What's this?" he asked himself.

 

            He picked up the envelope and saw that it had his name written on it. He immediately recognized the handwriting . . . it belonged to Lena.

 

            With trembling hands, he quickly opened the letter. Somehow he didn't want to read it because he was afraid of what he might find out. But then he knew that he needed to know . . . even if it was going to hurt him.

 

            Jaejoong,

 

                        First of all, I would like to apologize. I'm sorry for keeping secrets from you, for making you confused on whether you like me more than a friend or not, and for disturbing your life and bringing you so much trouble.

 

                        I know you're just being kind to me. I know you don't love me . . . and you will never will. Frankly I have always told myself that there is no way you will ever fall in love with me. Somehow I thought I had already gotten used to it and that I had already accepted it as the truth.

 

                        But yesterday, you made me realize something . . . And that is I can no longer be your friend. I am already having hope that there is a chance that you will also fall in love with me . . . And i know it's just a delusion. That is why I suddenly decided I must try to stop myself before I end up hurting both of us.

 

                        I love you, Jaejoong. I love you with all my heart. I don't think I can pretend anymore. I can't pretend that I just like you as a friend. And somehow even if I try I don't think I can ever accept the fact that I am just your best friend. There is always a part of me which always hopes and dreams that you will eventually learn to love me more than just a friend.

 

                        I know and I understand that you can't offer me anything except friendship. And frankly, I am grateful that you didn't push me away after you learned my true feelings for you. But I have to be honest to myself.

 

                        I can no longer accept our friendship. I want something more . . . . something I know you can never give. So I guess this is the main reason why we have to say goodbye to each other.

 

                        Somehow I think if I can still remain friends with you. I will end up hurting myself more and I will just make you more confused. I don't want to cause you any trouble. So before I end up doing something foolish. I have to say goodbye to both of us.

 

                        Thank you for all the happy memories . . . . Thank you for being my best friend. I will never forget all the things you have taught me. And I will always cherish the happy and sad memories we shared. I will always be thankful that I had the chance of meeting someone like you.

 

                        Thank you for everything, Jaejoong. I will never forget you. Just always remember that I will always care for you . . . and pray for your success in life. I will always pray for you to achieve everything you dream of.

 

                        Good luck, my friend. I don't think we will ever meet each other again.

 

                        I have left a gift for you in my room. I have been wanting to give it to you for a very long time now. But I somehow can't find the right time and I always lack the courage to do so.

 

                        I know you will like my gift. I hope you will take care of it, the same way I have taken care of it for the past ten years.

 

                        It is my way of saying . . . Thank you for being my friend . . . I love you and I will always have a special place for you in my heart . . . . and lastly . . . goodbye.

 

                        Take care of yourself, Jaejoong. I will always remember you.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Your best friend,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Lena

 

            Jaejoong's whole body was somehow trembling. He couldn't explain the emotion he was feeling. With heavy footsteps, he slowly entered Lena's room. He immediately noticed the gift Lena said in her letter. It was laid down on her bed.

 

            Jaejoong slowly walked up to Lena's bed. Somehow he already had an idea what Lena's gift was. But he needed to be sure first. He carefully tore the wrapping.

 

            And as soon as he finished opening Lena's gift, his tears started to fall. He was right. Lena had given him the painting she had loved ever since they were young.

 

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

            Ten years ago . . . .

 

            Lena and Jaejoong were happily strolling the stores in their hometown.

 

            "Jaejoong, how about we go to the park later huh?" she asked with a sweet smile.

 

            Jaejoong smiled as well. "Sure, but let's first look at the newly-opened store near the flower shop."

 

            "There's a new store? What kind of store is it?" she asked curiously.

 

            Jaejoong just shook his head. " No idea. That's why we should take a look."

 

            "Okay. I hope they sell new and interesting things. There are already too many stores that sells food items, medicine, books, clothes and house ornaments in our town. I want something interesting to look at," Lena said cheerfully.

 

            Jaejoong stared at his friend. "Come on . . .Let's go."

 

            Both of them excitedly went to where the new store was located.

 

            The moment they saw what the new store was selling, they were both delighted. It was certainly something new. The store was selling paintings.

 

            Immediately, something caught Lena's attention.

 

            "Jaejoong, look! Isn't that beautiful?" Lena asked as she pointed at a painting displayed at the front of the store.

 

            Jaejoong looked at the painting. It was a painting of a little girl and a little boy sitting next to each other.

 

            "Isn't it beautiful?" she asked again. Her eyes were gleaming with wonder as she stared at the painting.

 

            Jaejoong smiled. "What's so beautiful about it? You can't even see their faces. Haven't you noticed only their backs are shown?" he asked with a laugh.

 

            "Well, that's the reason why I love it. Can't you even imagine it?" she asked.

 

            "What?" he asked curiously.

 

            "Well, I can easily imagine that we are those two kids on the painting. we're always together . . . doing things together . . ."

 

            Jaejoong laughed. "You're imagining things again, Lena."

 

            "Well . . . I love it . . . and I want it," she said seriously.

 

            Jaejoong looked at his friend. He seldom heard Lena say that she wanted something in particular.

 

            "But Lena I think it is quite expensive," Jaejoong said worriedly.

 

            He knew that Lena might get upset if she didn't get what she wanted.

 

            "I don't care . . . I want it," she said again with determination in her voice.

 

            A few days later . . . .

 

            Jaejoong went to Lena's house to pick her up. They were supposed to go to the park that day.

 

            "Jaejoong . . . come on. Let's go to my room first. I want to show you something," Lena said with a bright smile on her lips.

 

            Jaejoong followed her to her room. He was very curious as to why Lena was very happy.

 

            The moment he entered Lena's room, he immediately knew the reason why she was oveflowing with joy.

 

            Hanging in the center of her room was the painting they had see at the new store a few days ago.

 

            "So you really bought it?" Jaejoong asked, still unable to believe what he was seeing.

 

            "Yes . . . . I asked my father to buy it for me," she answered.

 

            Jaejoong looked at Lena. He could see that she was very happy.

 

            "Now . . . we have something special to share with each other," Lena uttered.

 

            "What do you mean?" Jaejoong asked curiously.

 

            Lena smiled. "This painting will symbolize or friendship. It will always be a reminder that we will always be together."

 

            Jaejoong's heart pounded. He then looked at the painting. Somehow at that moment, he also thought that it was the most beautiful painting he had ever seen.

 

                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

            "Hyung . . . ." Max said as he gently tapped Jaejoong's shoulder.

 

            Jaejoong stared at  the painting again.

 

            “She's . . . gone . . . . “ he slowly uttered.

 

            “What? Who's gone?” Max asked again.

 

            Jaejoong felt his heart was going to explode. He wanted to cry out. Lena had been a part of his life for a very long time now. And it was only at that moment . . . .  he then realized that he could never live without her.

 

            “Lena . . . Lena . . . I'm sorry,” he uttered as he finally cried uncontrollably.