Online Now (Fan Fiction) (Chapter 4)

 

CHAPTER 4

“Hello . . . . . Max . . . . What are you doing right now?” Hana asked.

“Nothing just browsing some sites . . . .and reading an article. What about you?” Max asked.

“Well . . . . Max . . . . I am so happy today . . . And I have something important to tell you . . . .” Hana typed.

“What?” Max hurriedly typed. He was still busy reading an article about Han Ga In in a site. He wasn't paying much attention at Hana. His full attention was on the article when . . . . .

“Max . . . I think I am in love,” Hana typed.

Suddenly Max's attention was drawn from the article to the message that Hana had sent him. He stared blankly at the message for more than a few minutes before its meaning finally registered in his mind.

His heart somehow skipped a beat. He didn't know why, but after reading Hana's message somehow his heart started to ache.

“With whom?” he typed. He then noticed that his hands were shaking as he typed.

“I have this classmate and friend, his name is Kim Jong Soo. He's been very nice to me ever since I met him about two years ago. And I have had a crush on him for as long as I can remember. I thought he only treated me as a friend. So I just hid my feelings

for him and besides he already had a girlfriend. But they broke up about two months ago. And then . . . .yesterday . . . .he said that the reason why they broke up was because he had realized that I was the one that he really loved,” Hana answered.

“And?” Max typed. He couldn't think of anything to ask or type. Somehow his mind had totally gone blank.

“And yesterday after he confessed . . . .he asked me if I could be his girlfriend. And I said yes. I am his girlfriend now. Max, I am so happy . . . “ Hana answered.

After reading Hana's reply, Max suddenly froze. He stared at the last message. Somehow there was pain in his heart. He couldn't understand it. Why is my heart aching, he asked himself over and over again.

Max didn't realize that he had been staring at the computer monitor for a very long time. Hana had already sent him several messages.

“Max . . . .are you still there?”

“Max . . . .”

“Max, are you busy?”

“Max, what are you doing?”

“Max, are you still reading?”

“What happened to you Max?”

“Max . . . .maybe you've fallen asleep already.”

“Good night Max . . . .and sweet dreams.”

Then Hana had signed out.

Max stared at the computer monitor again. Hana was someone else's girlfriend now. The thought of Hana being with some other guy was painful for him.

“Am I in love with Hana?” he asked himself. “Why am I hurting?” he asked himself again.

He looked at Hana's messages again. As he was looking at the computer monitor, tears started to form in his eyes. He couldn't stop himself.

Hana was some other guy's girlfriend now. The fact was hurting him. He couldn't understand what he was feeling.

“Max, you're still on the computer?” Jaejoong asked while as he entered the room.

Max was silent. He was very confused.

Jaejoong approached Max. He sensed that something was wrong. Then he saw the tears in Max's eyes. Max tried to wipe away the tears, but he had already seen it.

“What's wrong?” Jaejoong asked with concern.

“Hyung . . . .does love really hurt this much?” Max suddenly asked.

Jaejoong became very confused.

“What do you mean . . . .I can't understand you,” Jaejoong said.

Max tried to smile as tears fell from his eyes.

“I think I've fallen in love with Hana . . .” he said.

Jaejoong looked at Max. he saw the sadness and pain in his eyes. He pitied him.

“But I was always afraid of telling her how I truly feel about her. Now she's already belongs to someone else. Hyung . . . .hyung . . . “ Max said as tears rolled down his face.

“Max . . . . .” Jaejoong uttered.

“I always convinced myself that she was only a friend, even though I knew I was feeling something else. I used my mind first just like what you said I should do. I have never seen her and have only known her for a few weeks. So I kept on thinking it was impossible that I would actually fall for her. But why does it hurt so much? Does love really hurt this much?” Max asked. He had never experienced falling in love before. He didn't know how to fully understand and identify his emotions regarding love.

Jaejoong didn't know what to answer. It was obvious that Max had already fallen in love with Hana.

“I was a fool . . . .I was always waiting for the right time to tell her what I truly feel about her,” Max tried to laugh. “Look at me now! How can I tell her now? It hurts . . . .hyung . . . .It hurts!” Max said as tears kept on falling from his eyes.

Jaejoong suddenly decided to just look outside the window. He didn't have the heart to look at Max. He looked so pitiful that Jaejoong's heart was breaking into pieces.

He wanted to help Max but there was nothing that he could do. He never imagined that Max's first experience in love would be this painful for him. How he wished he should have never told him to use his mind first. What he should have said was he should always use his heart above all things.

Max cried . . . .He can't tell Hana how he truly feels for her anymore. Then he started to ask himself . . . Will she still have time to talk to me every night now that she has someone new? Somehow reality hit him hard and the pain in his heart suddenly became more unbearable.

He was a fool . . . . . he was a total fool . . . . he kept on telling himself as he silently cried.