CHAPTER 26
Back in the DBSK boys’ apartment, an hour later…
Max just stared blankly in front of him. Somehow he was still trying to accept everything that he had learned. His mind was still trying to sort out what was reality and what was just a dream.
A tear suddenly escaped from his eye and ran down his cheek. He didn’t care about what he looked like right at that moment. He didn’t care if he looked like a fool or pitiful in his friends’ eyes.
Somehow his whole body was numb. He didn’t have the strength to move and he was also finding it difficult to breathe. His eyes were already sore from crying but still he didn’t care.
“Max,” Micky uttered as he gently placed his hand on Max’s shoulder. “Hyung,” Max said as he sadly stared back at his friend. “What have I done?” he asked as he quickly covered his face with his two hands.
Jaejoong just shook his head in pity. He knew that something like this was coming. But he never expected that the price that Max was going to pay was such a high price… the life of his child.
“What have I done? I know it’s already too late and even if I regret everything I have done… nothing will change. But my heart… how my heart aches. It hurts so much that I can’t seem to forget about my baby. My poor and innocent baby. How did it come to this? Why did I lose my child? Am I that bad? Maybe I really don’t deserve to be a father. Please help me… I don’t know how to stop the pain. I’m afraid that any minute now… I might suddenly lose my mind,” Max uttered as he finally broke down into tears.
U-Know sighed. “There’s nothing we can do, Max. We can try to help… but we won’t be able to take away the pain you’re feeling. I’m sorry. You will have to bear the pain so that you will also learn how to move on. In due time, everything will be all right. But as of now, you will first need to accept the truth. I know all of it seems to be unfair. But every specific action has a consequence. It is a basic rule of life.”
Max cried harder. He knew he deserved to be punished for all the wrong things he had done to Fate. But what he couldn’t accept was that his child was the one who paid for all his sins.
“I should be the one to be punished. But why did my baby have to die?” he asked out loud.
Xiah tried to pull himself together. It was like he was also going to cry. He was also very sad that such a tragic event happened to his friend. “Sometimes life is really unfair. And sometimes it gives us problems to test us… Maybe this is your test Max… You have to learn how to be strong, not only for your sake but for Fate’s sake as well,” he tried to utter.
“Test? What kind of test is this? Then does this mean that I failed? What’s next? What do I do now? I know I don’t deserve Fate’s love and forgiveness after all I’ve done… but it is only now that I realized that I can’t live without her. And I am willing to do anything just to set everything right. I want to make up… I… I am scared! I have already lost my baby. I don’t want to lose Fate as well,” Max said with a trembling voice.
“You have to give her time, Max. She’s confused and in pain like you. Maybe more than we can ever imagine. Give her time to think things over. You can try to talk to her again after a few days. It is the best for both of you to give each other some space to breathe … and heal,” Micky advised.
“But what if she suddenly decides to leave? You have heard what she said. She wants to leave me… She’s ending all the ties between us. I have a feeling she’s going to disappear from my life as well,” Max uttered with a confused look in his eyes.
Jaejoong sighed. Somehow he could no longer take what he was hearing. Even though he felt pity for his friend, there was still a part in his heart that kept on shouting angrily at Max.
“Max, I really pity you. But I am sorry to say this… I think it is only fair that Fate starts a new life… without you,” he boldly said.
“Hyung?” Max tried to utter.
“Jaejoong, what are you saying? Isn’t that a bit too harsh?” U-Know voiced out.
“Jae, you’re being unfair,” Xiah added.
Jaejoong smiled bitterly. “Harsh? Unfair? Are you talking about me? Are you guys blind? Don’t you think that if Fate stayed with Max… she would just suffer more? Try and put yourselves in her position. Would you guys stay in a place where all you remember are painful memories? Would you guys stay with someone that just keeps on reminding you of a very painful memory? All you’re thinking about is Max’s situation. What about Fate’s situation? Have you guys thought about her… and what she’s feeling? She’s lost her child… the child she carried and cared for. Since we are men, we will never know what it feels like for a mother to lose her child. But what I do know is that it is like losing a part of yourself… an arm… a leg… or even your heart. Have pity on Fate… Set her free, Max. I think it would be best for the two of you.”
“Hyung,” Max uttered as tears flowed out of his eyes. He knew Jaejoong was right. Fate would only suffer more if she stayed with him. But he couldn’t bear to let her go. He loved her… more than his own life. Sadly, it was only now that he realized everything.
Jaejoong gave Max a sad look. “Think it over, Max. If you really love her, set her free. She needs time to heal herself… alone.”
Slowly Jaejoong stood up and left the room. He knew he had already said enough. He also knew that the things he had said might have been too much for his friend, but it was something Max needed to hear.
Max’s entire mind and body lost control and he broke down into a pitiful cry.
Xiah, U-Know and Micky just exchanged glances with each other. They knew Jaejoong had a point. Even though what he said was painful for Max, it was still the truth.
Somehow they also felt ashamed after hearing what Jaejoong said. It was true that they were only thinking about Max’s side and they haven’t even thought about Fate’s situation.
Suddenly they were all lost for words. Only Max’s unending and heart-breaking cry could be heard as the sun slowly rose and signified a new day was beginning.
A new day… A new life… A painful ending.
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