My Angel - FTTS
CHAPTER 13
The sunlight was starting to enter the room. Fate slowly faced Max as he slept beside her. Gently. . . she traced his lips with her finger. She loved him with all her heart. But what happened between them was unexpected. She had never planned for it to happen. She had always imagined her first time to be with the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with. Sadness immediately crept into her heart. She didn't want to regret what she had done, but a part of her soul was telling her that she made a mistake. She was still young and so was Max. They both had a lot of things to fulfill in their lives . . . goals, ambitions and promises. She knew that there was a chance their love could easily disappear. They had met and fell in love with each other in such a short time that there was really no strong foundation on their relationship. All they had were words . . . words that could easily be broken and forgotten.
Slowly . . . tears started to cloud her eyes. She loved him. She kept on telling herself over and over again so to stop herself from feeling guilty.
The longer she stared at Max's face, the heavier her heart became. Suddenly questions started to fill her mind . . . questions that she didn't want to think of and was afraid to ask.
"I love you Max. I decided to give myself to you because I wanted to prove how much you really mean to me. I just hope that you will realize what it means. Right now, I am afraid. I am afraid of what I had done. When I was still young I had already promised myself that I will only give myself to the man that I will marry. I want my first time to also be the last time. But . . . but you changed it. I am not angry with you or whatsoever. What happened was with my consent. Questions are starting to fill my mind Max. What will happen now Max? What will you say once you wake up? Will you stay the same or will you suddenly change? I am afraid, Max. I admit that I wasn't afraid to be so bold with you before but it was because I still had myself intact. But now . . . now, I had already lost the most important part of my life. I just hope that you will treasure what I gave you. And I just hope that I didn’t make a mistake. I pray that you will stay the same and that you will continue to love me,” she uttered in her mind as she continued to stare at Max as he peacefully slept right next to her.
Tear just kept on flowing out of Fate’s eyes as she gazed at Max’s face. She wanted to be with him forever. But she knew it was impossible. He still had a lot of things to accomplish in his life. And she was also in the same situation. She didn’t want any complications in her life. All she ever wanted was just a chance to love and be loved.
Fate silently cried. She was confused on whether what she was wrong or right. She knew she wasn’t thinking straight when she decided to give herself up. But she loved him. It was the only reason that kept appearing in her mind. Somehow she wanted to justify her action with this single reason.
“I have already accepted what I had done . . . But why is it that I can’t seem to stop myself from crying? Why is my heart filled with fear right now? What will I do after this Max? What if you suddenly decide to leave me? Will I be able to take it? Please tell me you won’t leave me Max . . . Please tell me that you will stay with me . . . forever,” she continued to say in her mind.
Slowly Max started to feel the heat of the sun as it touched his bare skin. He opened his eyes slowly. He could feel his head was still hurting because of the several glasses of wine he had drunk during the party.
As he opened his eyes, he was suddenly faced with Fate as she silently cried on the bed. She was also lying on the bed, facing him. Her eyes were closed but the tears continuously flowed out.
Max carefully stared at Fate. He was trying to think straight. He was trying to remember everything that had happened the night before. It was like a bomb had exploded right in front of him. He was instantly dragged from his sleepy and confused state into reality.
It was only then he realized something . . . A single white sheet was the only thing that was covering their naked bodies.
Max closed his eyes again. Somehow he was wishing that everything was just a dream. Somehow he was wishing that everything wasn’t real.
As he gently opened his eyes again, his heart had pounded hard. Everything was real. He wasn’t dreaming. Something had really happened between him and Fate.
He then stared at Fate’s beautiful face. Pity quickly entered his heart. She was still crying. Somehow he wanted to ask why she was crying. But he already knew the answer to that question. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to comfort her and make her stop crying . . . but he didn’t know how.
Minutes already passed. Max couldn’t take it anymore. He carefully touched Fate’s face.
“Why are you crying Fate? What’s wrong?” he asked.
Startled, Fate quickly opened her eyes. She was shocked to see Max staring at her with sadness in his eyes. She was suddenly caught with nothing to answer.
“I . . . I . . . “ she started to mumble. “What’s wrong?” he repeated. “Nothing’s wrong,” she tried to deny the real reason why she was crying.
“You wouldn’t be crying if there wasn’t any reason,” Max uttered with concern. Fate looked straight into his eyes.
“I . . . I am afraid Max.” Max felt his heart had stopped with what she had said.
“What are you afraid of?” he gently asked. Fate lowered her gaze. Somehow she couldn’t look straight at him anymore.
“I am afraid . . . of . . . what we had done,” she answered honestly. Max then felt something was stuck in his throat. Somehow he didn’t know what to say. He was also afraid of the consequences of what had happened between them.
“Max . . .” she uttered. She was now looking at him. She could see the confusion in his eyes. Somehow this was already hurting her. She never expected to see such a reaction in his eyes. It only means that he wasn’t prepared to take responsibility for what had happened between them. The thought was already killing her and was shattering her heart into a million pieces.
“Max . . . you don’t have to worry about . . . what happened . . . We were both drunk. We . . . we can just . . . forget about it . . . if you like,” she tried to say with a trembling voice. She wanted to fight the tears that wanted to escape her eyes. She wanted to pretend to be strong. She didn’t want him to see her crying again.
Max suddenly looked at Fate with mixed emotions on his face. He was suddenly scared of what Fate had said. “Forget? What do you mean?” he asked with confusion.
“I know that you’re not ready for this kind of situation . . . You can’t have this kind of complication in your life . . . right now. We can just pretend that nothing ever happened between us. We can just go back to our usual routine. Let’s just forget about . . . last night,” she said with a bleeding heart.
Max slowly sat up on the bed. He then looked at Fate again. “Are you sure about what you’re saying? Are you just going to let go of what happened between us . . . so easily?”
Fate carefully sat on the bed as well. She then tried to smile back at Max. “Yes. I know . . . we both still have many things to accomplish in our lives and being involved seriously will only complicate things. Let’s just consider last night as a dream.”
“A dream that will forever haunt my memory for the rest of my life,” the thought suddenly entered Fate’s mind.
Max stared at the woman he loved with sadness in his eyes. He was totally confused on what to say and what to do. Somehow he wanted to ease the pain she was feeling. She was right. They still had many things to do. And honestly, being involved seriously was far from his plans. Yes, he wanted her. He loved her. But his love wasn’t that strong enough to make him plan his future with her. Now that something had happened between them. It was only then that he realized his mistake. He shouldn’t have forced her. He shouldn’t have made love to her . . . especially when he couldn’t be responsible for her. Max sighed. He knew he was being unfair. But if he lied any further, he would just make things worse for both of them.
“I’m sorry,” was all he could utter.
Fate suddenly bit her lower lip to stop herself from crying out. The words she heard had suddenly made her heart stop beating. It was like she wanted to die at that exact moment.
She was expecting that he was going to comfort her and assure her that everything was going to be all right. She never imagined that he would actually agree with what she was saying. She wanted to show him that she was angry. But she just hid her real emotions. She just pretended that everything was all right with her. She needed to act like she was strong.
Suddenly . . . a phone rang. Max hurriedly went to answer his phone.
And after several minutes . . .
“Fate, I’m sorry but I really need to go. I forgot we have a meeting at the studio this morning. They are already waiting for me in the studio. I really need to hurry,” Max said as he quickly dressed himself up.
Fate tried to hold back her tears. She just nodded her head and put on a fake smile. “It’s okay. I also have a practice at the race track at 10.”
Max gave Fate a worried look. “Are you sure you’re all right?” he asked again.
Fate just nodded her head. “I’m fine. Just go. I wouldn’t want you to be late,” she said with a forced smile.
Max wanted to say something, but he was already late for the meeting. He suddenly thought that he could always talk with her later. He hurriedly gathered his things, and quickly gave Fate a short kiss on the forehead. “I am sorry, but I really need to go. Let’s talk again after the meeting. I will call you okay,” he said in a hurry.
As soon as Max left the room, Fate immediately released the pain she was feeling. She cried uncontrollably that her entire body was trembling. Now she knew why she was afraid. Now she knew . . . she had made a mistake.
oh no :(
ReplyDeletewonder what's going to happen now??
plz update more soon