I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND (FAN FICTION) (CHAPTER 12)

CHAPTER 12

Lena looked at Jaejoong. . . . .

“I've missed you Jaejoong . . . .” she uttered.

As he heard those words, he immediately glanced at her.

Lena smiled. “We haven't seen each other for more than a year . . . . are we going to end up fighting now?”

“We have never fought . . . . even once . . . .” he uttered.

“Yes . . . it's because you've always been very patient with me,” she said as she laid down her head again on his shoulder.

“I need a friend now Jaejoong . . . please,” she suddenly said.

Jaejoong felt his heart was very heavy.

“I'm always your friend . . . I will always be your friend,” he said softly.

“Friend . . . .” Lena uttered. (“But I want you more than a friend . . . . I love you. I have loved you for years now . . . . Can't you see it? Can't you feel it?”) she asked in her mind.

“I'm concerned with you Lena. That's why I'm being emotional,” Jaejoong said.

“I know . . . . and thank you for your concern,” she replied.

“Lena . . . . about the guy that you like . . . who is he?” Jaejoong started to ask. His heart was pounding.

“He . . . he is just an illusion . . . someone I can never have . . . someone who will never love me in return,” she answered sadly.

“How did the two of you meet?” he asked again.

Lena smiled. “I met him when I was still young.”

Jaejoong's heart suddenly ached. “Don't tell me, he's one of the boys in our neighborhood.”

(“Should I tell him the truth? What if he suddenly withdraws from me?”) she asked herself.

“Lena . . . he's a boy from our place?” Jaejoong asked again. He wanted to make sure.

“Uhmm . . . . yes.”

Jaejoong felt his heart suddenly break inot two pieces. He suddenly closed his eyes. He didn't know why but somehow he wanted to cry. He was feeling very weak.

“I've finally fallen in love, Jaejoong. When we were still young, we would talk about falling in love right?” she then laughed. “You always said that the one you would fall in love with would be someone very special. Have you found her? Have you fallen in love Jaejoong?”

Jaejoong didn't know what to answer. Different questions and different emotions were making him very confused.

“No . . . I haven't,” he answered.

“Why?” she asked.

Lena closed her eyes. She knew her tears were about to fall. She was hurting deep inside. She knew it was very impossible. But she ws hoping that he would say yes and say that he was in love with her. She wanted to sob. But she still tried to control herself. She bit her lower lip as she tried to stop herself from crying.

“I still haven't found the right girl, I guess. That's why I haven't fallen in love yet. I always imagined that the moment I see that special girl . . . . I would instantly know . . . . at that exact moment . . . that she is the one for me,” he answered.

(“Why? Why can't you fall in love with me?”) she asked in her mind again.

Lena tried to hold herself back from crying. She needed to know . . . . she wanted to know what was on his mind.

“Jaejoong . . . you always said that you would never fall in love with a friend . . . . why?” she asked softly.

Jaejoong smiled. “You've asked me that question a million times already . . . Aren't you tired?”

“No . . . . I just wanted to know if maybe . . . . your view had changed,” she answered.

“I don't think my opinion about falling in love with a friend will ever change. For me, a friend will always be a friend. If I fall in love with a friend. . . . it's like falling in love with one of my sisters. It's not right . . . .” he said.

“So you still haven't changed your mind . . . . “ she softly uttered.

“Why are you asking me these things again?” he asked.

“Nothing . . . .”

“Does Daichi know that you're in love with another guy?” Jaejoong asked.

“Yes . . . .”

“And he doesn't mind? He's still going to marry you even though you're in love with someone else?” he asked as if surprised.

“I never lied to him . . . I told him everything . . . . So I guess he already accepted it,” she answered.

“He's really something . . . . If I were him . . . I wouldn't be able to go through with it,” he uttered.

“Yes . . . the two of you are really different,” she said sadly. (“What a sad fate we have . . . I love you but you don't love me . . . . Daichi loves me but I don't love him . . . . If I could only teach my heart who to love . . . . I would have done it a long time ago . . .”) she said in her mind.

“Daichi seems to be a nice guy after all . . . . But are you sure you're going to be happy with him?” he asked with a heavy heart.

“Do you have to ask that? Do you think a person could ever be happy with someone he or she doesn't love?” she replied.

“So you're saying that you know that you won't be happy with him?” he asked.

“The only person I can only be happy with is the one I am in love with . . . . “ she answered.

“Can you tell me who he is?” Jaejoong asked.

“Maybe someday . . . . you'll know . . . . But as of now . . . . I'm sorry . . . But I can't tell you who he is.”

Jaejoong opened his eyes. He stared blankly at the TV screen in front of them. He then gently reached out for Lena's hand.

Lena opened her eyes as well. She looked at her hand as Jaejoong gently clasped it with his hand. Her heart was beating very fast. If she could only stay close to him forever. She was willing to trade everything that she had for a chance to be with him.

Lena sighed. “Jaejoong . . . . what will you do if a friend suddenly confesses her love to you?”

Jaejoong's heart suddenly skipped a beat. “What?' What are you saying?”

“Let's say a friend . . . tells you that she's in love with you . . . . What would you do?” she asked again.

“I . . . I don't know. But I would surely become uncomfortable with her . . . . I would feel a little uneasy dealing with her, that's for sure . . . .” he answered.

“Just as I thought . . . . So you would basically be avoiding her after she confesses right?” she asked with sadness in her voice.

“I don't know how to interact with her after she tells me her feelings . . . . Frankly I never imagined a girl would ever do that. It is very degrading to a girl if she confesses to a guy first. For me . . . it is a little bit awkward. So yes . . . I think I would just avoid her after she confesses,” Jaejoong answered.

Lena sighed. She was right. She had already guessed what Jaejoong's reaction will be once he knew she treated him more than a friend. Now she knew . . . . she shouldn't tell him. . . . She could never tell him the truth. . . . .

Lena's tears started to fall one by one . . . . She wanted to tell him her true feelings . . . but she didn't want to lose him as a friend.